I could never understand someone willingly causing pain to another. Could never see what benefit it has. Calling in the early morning to say it's over, calling someone a liar again and again,
drunk and angry, mocking and derisive, blaming, spitting, cursing; waiting for an opportunity to do it again. A sick sport with only one spectator that receives the down pour.
Not the middle of the night this time, but near it. He called and called and called until i was awake and raw. I picked up and wondered would could cause this rage, this break from rational behavior. Why does he insist on me? What gives anyone the right to make demands, at night, when I am tender and alone and ask nothing but the solace of dreams?
"I know you are lying." You must have been lying when you said you loved me. No one in love would throw these massive terms around simply in defense of pride. I hung up to keep afloat, cut the line to save the ship. Stress rocked my dreams, pushing me in to the submission of my failures. At night they line up and ask for bread, spare change, anything to get them through. But i am helpless, i cant even feed myself because you took it all. Work creeps in my bedroom, money lays next to me, strangling my breath, tumult and strain, together in my bed as I grasp at the slowing of breath, at a bite of surrender. Awake again, to more tiring tirades, more misappointed meanness. I can't do it anymore.