Waking up aching in parts that dont have nerves. My head was heavy from the weight of troubling dreams and I choose to stay in my beds arms than those of the morning, for just a bit longer, until my alarm finally maganged to pry me away. It was as if the strain of my sleeping thoughts were real and I felt the fatigue of running and jumping and hiding as well as all the other chores that my tense dreams demanded without giving the allowance of rest. The morning sun wasn't awake, why should I be? Doesn't seem fair. Finally, one leg after the other I pulled away and walked to the window to see what I was up against. Low fog and lower expectations. I knew that something was dwelling somewhere in my day that I was dreading so i closed the blinds and rushed around doing my daily doings, skipping over the anxiety, hopping over to the imagined ending of my day where I would once again get a chance to surrender to the sandman. This time i would pay more homage and hope for a better midnight showing.
Fully dressed, appropriately caffeinated, I realize my reluctance as childish. Stepping through hoops and demands I gain speed and catch up.
He texted at lunch, someone I used to know, but how we seem to change under times forceful grip. Faces become monuments, ambitions seem idealistic, jobs are a habits. I could sense the tone he once had, that was dryly comical and inquisitive, interested. But it was hidden behind a fear of rejection or indignation. He would joke and then retort and then leave a question hanging for days, dangling in thin air kicking its feet for a place to land. This is the frustration with texting. One can never get a true sense of the feeling behind it. Whatever happened to calling when one was curious about someone? I admit to lazily typing requests when I am not wearing the right face to have a discussion with someone, but something is lost in this bargain. That human contact so lacking in our society that guides us in our daily interactions. Thus his meaning is lost in the hush of a silent text in the afternoon and I am quizzically wondering why he even bothered. My head still dreaming about dreaming, I push it aside and decide to let him make that extra effort as I am far too concerned with shirking as many duties as possible right now.