Every time I get on that freeway
I pretend that I am going to see you,
just for a moment, to get me in the mood
for whatever it is I am actually going to do.
It helps soften it a little,
that sweet memory of anticipation;
seeing your kind eyes again,
then the traffic hits and I am stopped
in my daydream knowing that I don't know,
or won't, or can't.
My dream rehearses when it will be and how I will touch you.
On a beach somewhere?
When the sun is slouching a little, but not us,
alert in our kiss and caress;
soft surrendering of scents and longing.
Frustrations and worry recede with the tide,
and we are eye to eye
remembering, like the lazy sun
why we keep coming back to this
even if the dark scares us, it is worth the dawn.

a stuck kind of sad
thick in throat and mind
treading thoughts and good intentions
pouring all you have in hopes of a taste
for this drought; self imposed though
no one to blame but you.
lets make a wish for a kiss
for a chance for all this to slip away: a memory
something we got through, together and in pieces
keep my picture with you thick and thin
it will whisper sweet somethings
reminding you? soothing you back into my arms
but for now, a shadow must do
from the corner of my eye.
ill pretend you were there the whole time
that this aloneness was a test of fortitude,
these tears just a leak with a quick fix.
I want to say I miss you.

You: who wears glasses in the morning between newsprint and eggs,
old soft shirt slippers lips lap argue about how our politics are the same
a soft dance shift closer between breakfast and lunch a quick repast
music floats down the back side of the day as light slips up the wall
up the stairs white sheets shoes hair tangle breeze in slats kiss me now
arms a mess warm touching warm beginning and ending no middle.
I: have to leave with your smell on my skin brushing up against my tomorrows
with you in them, too afraid to touch for fear it shimmies toward dreaming.
quarter tank of gas country music traffic weaves into and out of thoughts of you
hand on face and heart beating my fear into submission, please accept my offering.
please me with your plans please take all i give then ask for more please don't stop
us:ually this ends in fire and crash blood letting and a choking sense of fatigue.
but we, us, you/i
can't we just go with flow and fun and forget about all that
makes something out of nothing but a drink in a dark club made out of sin; a blessing?
something that we thank for
something we live for
we love for

shes fuzzy snoring and I am blurry writing in dim shade, dimmer thoughts,
about old faces and new ones,
of the black on your arm, the sweat on your brow when you were looking the other way.
light words that deflected heavy emotions left to bare.
It was dark enough so no one saw but me: there and naked and you: away and wrapped up
my hand on your face you're gone, your foot on my chest its too late
to get a cab
to get a bite
to get a second
to remember what I tried to forget

another night another drink another tip toe on the brink of forgetting
then you, tall and center with dark eyes straight through, draining what I had collected.
as if it were my fault to hold this love, to give this love, for trying to do the same for someone else.

I hate you for all the wrong reasons, and love you for all the right ones.
But these don't cancel each other out and make something beautiful in their joining.
It seems to make something distant and waning, something hungry and frustrated.
Just a picture on a profile and a message in the night, a passing of image to reignite the fire I put out to fall asleep.
I couldn't make this up