fault lines clearly drawn on my face

clear canals for water and regret.

I am sorry

I am responsible

I made you make me naked and bare

hearts stuck, broken apart to unstick

blood still dripping hoping for a detour

rerouted though, on public display, for all to see

failed at falling

shake it between the faults,

fill with fast fixing cement

the sludge left behind by a love lost

its stronger in the broken places,

or broken in the stronger places

depends on what direction you're looking from.

when we went out

written in eyeliner, across my eyes
so no one can hear what they have to say,
block letters block out the tear stain red
read in dim light, sneaky smoke masks and separates,
making it seem like a love letter.
a smile seems hello,
a frown seems a flirt,
hand to face,
lips to cheek and its not enough
lets laugh, lets pretend,
lets make this what we wish it was,
a real romance, just for tonight.
buttons release, shirts slip, mind rewinds, eyeliner escapes again
hunger in his eyes, eating from an empty dish
lapping it up, chewing and tearing open an invisible feast.
be mad i can't, make me feel as bad as you think I should.
I have nothing to give.

it was liquid momentum, the worst kind
stuck in thick
a sort of heavy that breaks your surrender
leaving you heaving in bed alone,
and wet and deep dark plundered
wondering the sickness for partness or aloneness
wondering the thing was ever yours?
pounding out a type of daytime, and night,
til its a stamp
til its a ticker tape of breath, life, blood and fuck
quick slip up around and the sidewalk doesnt care or the blue clouds either
or me

broken open again
pieces part my day
making it dark and blind
eye can't see through
to you
just an empty little place
just a fractured yesterday
just me choked up and tattered
releasing a hope,
it had a pretty good hold for a while there,
a pretty good chance,
pretty good of you when you were here,
pretty good to know it for a while at least.

I don't live there anymore.
numbers change and so does my sleep
sometimes dark sometimes light,
drunk or tear drunk
alone or in pair.
I send messages through the air
for you to catch with your lips
and hold for a bit, to really feel it.
your lips are more sensitive than your fingers
my heart is more sensitive than yours.
long sinuous letters connect to words
that say what gets choked:
of places in the night where we locked
and quiet little moments of mutual caress
music and tears then laughter
that's all swept away toward yesterday
toward a place that I don't belong anymore
nor do you.