stepping up, thank you!
got a little tired of that old way
that seemed to seep between the cracks of progress,
making me heavy and fierce.
takes too long to cut corners,
easier to stand up and face it, corners intact.
soft against my skin, this new way i'm in,
slidding into and out of sideways walks,
looking there and here
face to the forward but stroking backways
licking the promise of times steady gaze
happy
skin cling to clothes and slinking off yesterdays drear
wasnt my color anyway.
quick pace
to step
into you

Why did you go? I had things to ask, some memories to tell. I remember Chico! Or your memory of him anyway. I remember there was something that you had been meaning to tell me; that you were proud maybe. I could see it in your eyes at every graduation but it never came around. I could tell that you missed me by the way you hugged me good bye. I'm glad that you always liked the sweaters I got you; you wore them the next time I saw you. I miss your hats and your strong hands, your battle wounds, your snoozing on the couch, sitting drinking coffee and the morning with you, christmas and birthdays and pinatas and presents, that old house in Norwalk with the fort and swing in the backyard, slow car rides (what was the rush?), snoozing by the pool, lotto tickets that never won. I wish you were here to tell me how you proposed and how you felt when we were all born, what it felt like to jump out of planes, your favorite moment, your greatest weakness. But I guess missing makes a memory, means its better than having nothing to touch back on. I wanted to say I love you.